When the System Doesn’t Fit
Why Numbers Alone Don’t Tell the Story
If you’ve ever felt like your body isn’t doing what it’s “supposed” to do, I want to gently offer a reframe:
It may not be that your body is failing.
It may be that the system you’re measuring it against doesn’t fit.
So much of Western health and diet culture asks us to understand our bodies through numbers: weight, calories, macros, BMI. These tools are often treated as objective truth: neutral, scientific, authoritative.
But numbers don’t exist in a vacuum. And when they’re used without context, they can quietly do more harm than good.
The Problem With Reducing Humans to Metrics
Human bodies are not spreadsheets.
They are dynamic, adaptive, responsive systems that change based on:
stress
sleep
hormones
illness
season
life stage
emotional load
safety and connection
Trying to capture all of that complexity with a single number is not just incomplete - it’s misleading.
And yet, many people are taught (explicitly or implicitly) that if a number isn’t moving “the right way,” they must be doing something wrong.
“BMI was never meant to define individual health. And it was never meant to define you.”
Let’s Talk About BMI (Gently, Honestly)
Body Mass Index (BMI) is one of the most commonly referenced health metrics, and one of the most misunderstood.
Here are a few things that often get left out of the conversation:
BMI was never intended to be a diagnostic tool for individual health.
It was developed using data from a narrow population (primarily white, European men).
It does not account for muscle mass, bone density, body composition, age, sex, ethnicity, or lived experience.
It tells us nothing about metabolic health, inflammation, nervous system regulation, or resilience.
BMI is a screening tool, not a verdict.
A data point, not a diagnosis.
And yet, it’s often treated as a moral scorecard — something to pass or fail.
That’s not just inaccurate. It’s unfair.
When Numbers Become the Loudest Voice
Numbers aren’t inherently bad. They can be useful. But problems arise when they become the primary way we relate to our bodies.
When the scale dictates our mood.
When a chart overrides how we actually feel.
When progress is defined by shrinking, rather than functioning, adapting, or healing.
One thing I pay close attention to clinically is connection.
When people focus more and more on numbers, they often lose touch with:
hunger cues
satiety
energy levels
intuition
trust
And that disconnection isn’t a personal failure, it’s a predictable outcome of a system that prioritizes control over listening.
“When numbers become the loudest voice, we lose the body’s quieter wisdom.”
Disconnection Is Not the Price of Health
Many people assume that feeling disconnected, frustrated, or at odds with their body is just part of “being disciplined.”
But health was never meant to require self-betrayal.
When the framework asks you to ignore your own signals in order to be considered “successful,” it’s worth pausing and asking whether the framework itself needs to be questioned.
Because bodies don’t thrive under constant surveillance.
They respond to safety, nourishment, and responsiveness.
A Different Question to Ask
Instead of asking:
“Why can’t I get this number to change?”
We might ask:
“What is my body responding to right now?”
“What feels supportive versus depleting?”
“Am I more connected to myself than I was before?”
Those questions don’t fit neatly into a chart.
But they often lead to more sustainable, humane outcomes.
You Are Not the Problem
If you’ve spent years trying to make your body conform to a number that never felt quite right — you’re not alone.
And you’re not broken.
Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is stop forcing ourselves into systems that don’t fit, and begin listening for what our bodies are actually asking for.
This isn’t about abandoning science or data.
It’s about using tools wisely — and refusing to let them define our worth.
“If a framework requires self-betrayal, it’s worth questioning the framework.”
